its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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