I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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