i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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