You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
