just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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