You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
