4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
