PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
