Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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