why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
