It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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