Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
