Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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