Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
