I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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