what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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