Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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