i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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