Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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