She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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