physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
