He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
