hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
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