we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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