Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
how drunk are you?
Several
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
