Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
