I'm going to jail i love you
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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