you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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