Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
