shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
