id be glad to
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
