I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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