we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
