If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
