That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
