2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
