How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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