yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
