your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
