Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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