they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
