Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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