So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
