are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
