i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
