Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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