Only a mothe r could love this liver
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
