If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Can I color on your dick again?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
