OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
