remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
