Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize