i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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