we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
