i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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