just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize