do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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